Chapter 67 Wild Imagination Theater, 18+ 50 Questions
Location: Live broadcast studio.
Cast: Cheng Zan, Lin Ru’an, Dan Dan.
1. Are you the top or the bottom?
Zan: ?
Ru'an: I’m the bottom.
Zan: ??
2. How was this decided?
Zan: What exactly is this?
Ru'an: It’s fine, I’ll answer these boring questions.
Dan Dan: -L-# Sorry for making you two answer these boring questions…
3. Are you satisfied with the current situation?
Ru'an: Very satisfied.
Zan: (Dialing Qu Zixuan’s phone)…
Lin Ru’an snatches the phone, turns it off, smiles: No need to ask him, I’ll tell you.
Dan Dan: …What situation?
4. Where was your first time?
Ru'an: Cheng Zan’s villa.
5. Thoughts at the time?
Zan: So this is what it’s like with a man.
Ru'an: First victory.
Dan Dan: …Huh?
6. How did the other person look at the time?
Zan: Not bad.
Dan Dan: = = Son, change that.
Zan: (Chin in hand) Cute.
Ru'an: …Enchanting.
7. What was the first thing you said the morning after?
Ru'an: …Felt like a dream…
Zan: Don’t remember.
Dan Dan: (Excited) I’ll check the novel! (Fists clenched)
Ru'an: No need, next question.
Dan Dan: (Found it!) Aiya, seems like daughter-in-law remembers after all~
8. How many times a week?
Zan: Three or four. Coming home every day is exhausting.
Ru'an: Could be a bit more.
Dan Dan: Ohhhh!!! Daughter-in-law, you actually made such a request in the 50 Q&A?! Usually, it’s the top who asks!! Ohhh!!! (Overexcited)
Ru'an: (Exchanges a light kiss with Cheng Zan, gazes at him) Because you’re just too sexy at that time…
Dan Dan has been emotionally wrecked by their overflowing happiness _(:з」∠)_
9. Ideally, how many times a week?
Zan: However many’s fine.
Ru'an: Every day.
Dan Dan: Daughter-in-law, can you handle that? _(:з」∠)_
10. How would you describe your sex life?
Ru'an: Satisfying.
Zan: Pleasing.
11. Your most sensitive spot?
Zan: There.
Ru'an: There.
Dan Dan: Hey!! You two are being way too blunt!!
12. The other’s most sensitive spot?
Dan Dan: If anyone dares say “there” again, I’ll throw in a bloody, angsty amnesia plot!
Zan: Tch. Earlobe, collarbone, inner thigh.
Ru'an: (Smiles) Neck, waist.
Dan Dan: _(:з」∠)_ Daughter-in-law, why are you smiling at me…?
13. Describe the other during H in one sentence?
Zan: Very appetizing.
Dan Dan: …??
Ru'an: Irresistibly enchanting.
14. Honestly, do you like sex?
Zan: Used to love fighting, now I prefer this.
Ru'an: Like it.
15. Where does it usually happen?
Zan: Anywhere.
Ru'an: Mostly the bed, but recently also the bathroom and office.
Dan Dan: Cough, cough.
16. Any place you’d like to try?
Zan: Pretty much tried everything. Any left?
Ru'an: Doesn’t matter, anywhere you want.
Zan: (Smirks) Then, the broadcast studio?
Dan Dan: Cough cough!!!
17. Do you shower before or after H?
Zan: Both.
Ru'an: Sometimes during.
18. Any promises during sex?
Zan: Promises?
Ru'an: One more time…
19. Have you ever had sex with someone else?
Zan: Yes.
Ru'an: No.
Dan Dan: (Whispers) Ru'an, does it… bother you? My son’s been with quite a few… cough…
Ru'an: It does.
Dan Dan: (Shocked)!!!
Zan: (Raises brow) What would make you not mind?
Ru'an: Turn those people into corpses.
Dan Dan: …Didn’t I write a sweet, pure love story? _(:з」∠)_
Zan: (Laughs) Doesn’t seem like it.
20. Thoughts on “If I can’t have their heart, at least I’ll have their body”?
Zan: Don’t care. I’ve never obsessed over anyone… except Ru’an.
Ru'an: I used to think that way, but the heart matters most.
Dan Dan: (Timidly) But didn’t you still kidnap my son in the end…
Zan: Shut up.
Dan Dan: …………@﹏@ Y-you’re bullying me!!!
Ru'an: (Smiles) Serves you right.
(Dan Dan: So daughter-in-law, you’re getting back at me for Q12, huh?! Ru'an, you really hold a grudge!!! Points!!!)
21. If the other was assaulted, what would you do?
Zan: Kill.
Ru'an: Make the perpetrator beg for death.
Dan Dan: …Are you sure your therapy sessions are over? = =
22. Do you feel shy before or after sex?
Zan: No.
Ru'an: …No…
Zan: Hm?
Ru'an: …
Zan: (Leans in, whispers into Lin Ru’an’s ear) Why deny it?… Look, your ears are red.
Ru'an: I-it’s not because of it…
Zan: Then?
Ru'an: It’s not about anything else, just because it’s you.
(Dan Dan decides not to interrupt the mood _(:з」∠)_)
23. If a friend said, “I’m too lonely, please…” and asked for sex, would you?
Zan: If it’s Lei Jin, toss him into a nightclub. If it’s Qu Zixuan, punch him awake.
Dan Dan: Huh? What about Xue Shuming?
Zan: He’s my big brother!
Dan Dan: So… big brother is okay?
Zan: Why would big brother come to me for sex?
Dan Dan: Oh no, someone please fix my son’s tragic EQ TTATT!!!
Zan: …Truth is, other than Ru’an, I probably wouldn’t get hard for any other guy.
Dan Dan: Huh? Daughter-in-law, why so quiet?
Ru'an: (Thoughtful) Debating… whether to chop off the “friend’s” cucumber or just seal his chrysanthemum?
Dan Dan: 0-0…
24. Do you think you’re good at it?
Zan: Yes.
Ru'an: Do you think I’m good?
Zan: (Kisses) Couldn’t be better.
25. What about the other?
Ru'an: No one’s better than him.
Zan: Same.
26. What do you want the other to say during sex?
Ru'an: “I love you.”
Zan: “So deep…” “You’re hitting it…”
Dan Dan: T-tissue!!! Quick!!!
Zan: But the line I remember most is him saying, “Whatever I want, he can give.”
27. What expression of the other’s do you like most during sex?
Zan: That look when I first enter—part discomfort, part pleasure. And when he tries not to moan, but I force it out of him.
Ru'an: That look when he finishes inside me, groaning in satisfaction… Only I get to see it.
(Dan Dan’s HP has hit zero _(:з」∠)_)
28. Is H with someone other than your partner okay?
Ru'an: No.
Zan: (Pauses) No.
Ru'an: What’s wrong?
Zan: I’ve been cheated on before. Back then, I didn’t care. But with you, no.
Ru'an: (Teasing) Why not with me?
Zan: Because I can’t be indifferent to you.
Ru'an: … (A few seconds later, face turns bright red ///)
29. If the other person suddenly stops demanding your body, what would you do?
Ru'an: Reflect on whether I did something wrong.
Zan: Never thought about this question…
Ru'an: Zan, I will never stop demanding you. My greed is endless.
Zan: (Laughs) But I already belong to you now.
Ru'an: (Speechless)…
Dan Dan: (HP bar recovers and stands up) Little Cheng Zan, it’s wrong to keep making Little Ru'an’s heart race like this~ Ru'an might get a heart condition sooner or later~
30. Are you interested in S&M?
Zan: No.
Ru'an: It’s not bad as a bit of fun.
Zan: Oh? (Lifts his chin) Don’t cry and beg me later.
Ru'an: Sure.
31. What are your thoughts on r*pe?
Zan: A sickness of the mind and body.
Ru'an: What kind of special answer is the person asking this question looking for?
Dan Dan: = =#
32. What’s the most frustrating thing during sex?
Zan: Being interrupted.
Ru'an: Having to stop because of a third party.
Dan Dan: Yeah, that’s really annoying!
Zan: Hmph, don’t act so innocent.
33. So far, where’s the most exciting or nerve-wracking place you’ve had sex?
Zan: (Thinks for a while) No anxiety. Exciting…
Ru'an: No anxiety, but once it was in the car… parked by the roadside, a little tense…
Zan: Yeah, the car was the most exciting.
Dan Dan: What about the library? Doesn’t that count?
Ru'an: How could that even count as sex?
Dan Dan: Huh? Ru'an, your tone sounds a little dissatisfied~
Ru'an: ……
Zan: It’s fine, next time we visit our alma mater, we’ll go to the library again…
(For the record, the car scene wasn’t written out, but it definitely happened! …In Dan Dan’s imagination! [Whack])
34. Has the bottom ever taken the initiative to seduce?
Zan: Happens all the time.
Ru'an: Just part of life’s fun.
Zan: That’s why being with you is never boring. (Leans closer…)
Dan Dan: Enough! You’re kissing again! How many times is this?! Am I invisible?! Waaah— (Don’t push my face!!!)
35. How does the top react in that situation?
Zan: Me? If I’m in a good mood, I’ll just watch him and see how he plans to finish.
Ru'an: ……
Dan Dan: Then… what if you’re in a bad mood?
Zan: (Smiles) He’ll make me feel better.
36. Has the top ever forced himself on the other?
Zan: No.
Ru'an: No.
37. How did the bottom react at that time?
Zan: ……
Ru'an: ……
38. What’s your ideal partner for sex?
Zan: Ru'an meets all my ideals.
Ru'an: Zan. It’s always been Cheng Zan.
39. Does your partner now meet your ideal?
Zan: Tch, obviously.
Dan Dan: …Be nice, son =_=.
Ru'an: A dream come true.
40. Have you ever used toys during sex?
Zan: Lube?
Ru'an: No.
41. How old were you when you lost your virginity?
Zan: Fifteen.
Ru'an: Eighteen, after being reborn.
42. Was that person your current lover?
Zan: No.
Ru'an: Yes.
Dan Dan: …………Dare not look at my daughter-in-law’s face _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_
43. Where do you like being kissed the most?
Zan: Lips.
Ru'an: Everywhere.
44. Where do you like kissing your partner the most?
Zan: Mouth, neck, earlobes.
Ru'an: Lips.
45. What pleases your partner the most during sex?
Ru'an: Moaning, kissing, cooperating with him.
Zan: Kissing every inch of his body, finishing inside him.
Dan Dan: Oh no! My HP bar’s about to empty again _(´ཀ`」 ∠)_
46. What do you think about during sex?
Zan: No time to think.
Ru'an: No energy to think.
47. How many times in one night?
Zan: Once or twice, but we last pretty long. If there’s no work the next day, we’ll go again.
Ru'an: That’s why I say we can do it more.
48. During sex, who takes off the clothes—you or your partner?
Zan: We help each other, but I really like the process.
Ru'an: If I’m seducing him, I do it.
44. What does sex mean to you?
Zan: A very good thing.
Dan Dan: …=_=
Ru'an: Proof that he belongs to me.
100. Finally, say one last thing to your lover.
Zan: My project is done now. I’ll try to come home earlier from now on.
Ru'an: Hmm, didn’t you want to try it in the live-streaming room?
……
……
Audience: Hey! Dan Dan! Hurry up and start the live stream!
_(´ཀ`」 ∠)_ Dan Dan has been kicked out by her son, waaah waaah…
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Little Red Riding Hood, Cheng Zan, had an unhappy family because his dad (Xue Shuming) and mom (Qu Zixuan) would bicker every day, with small fights today and big fights tomorrow. As a result, he grew up cold and detached at a young age. Everyone thought he was expressionless, but no one knew that deep down, he yearned for familial love.
One day, Little Red Riding Hood received an anonymous letter: "Beyond the mountains and across the seas lives the grandmother who once doted on you the most. She is now bedridden and pitiful—please go see her soon." Though Cheng Zan couldn’t remember if such a person existed, he decided to visit her anyway. Without a hint of reluctance, he bid farewell to his parents. (Background: Dad and Mom tearfully wave handkerchiefs.)
Hiding not far away, the little wolf (Lin Ru’an) watched with satisfaction as Cheng Zan left the village and headed toward the mountains. Then, he sought out the old wolf (Li Hui), who hadn’t tasted human flesh in a very long time. "Do you miss the taste of human meat? Look, that Little Red Riding Hood must be incredibly delicious." Tempted by the offer, the old wolf happily agreed.
"Shall we go eat him now?" the old wolf asked.
"No, Little Red Riding Hood is on his way to visit his grandmother. We can take care of the old one first, then deal with the little one," the little wolf said with a smile.
"Hmm, you’re right. One alone wouldn’t be enough for me. I’ll go eat the old one now, then disguise myself as the old woman to devour Little Red Riding Hood. What a brilliant plan, hehe~"
What the old wolf didn’t expect was that Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother (Cheng Yan) was… eccentric.
Instead of being afraid, the old hag actually jumped out of bed and chased the old wolf around the house with a broom!
Just as the grandmother and the old wolf were locked in a life-or-death struggle, Little Red Riding Hood pushed open the wooden door.
The two humans and the wolf froze in the scene.
"What are you doing?" Little Red Riding Hood asked expressionlessly.
"…"
"…"
It all looked very chaotic. Cheng Zan thought, "I should just leave."
As Cheng Zan turned to go, the old wolf broke free from the fight and lunged at him.
"Where do you think you're going? I’m going to eat you!"
Little Red Riding Hood didn’t have time to dodge, but he wasn’t hurt.
At the critical moment, a small white wolf suddenly leaped out from nowhere, placing himself between Cheng Zan and the old wolf, saving him.
The old wolf, too focused on attacking Little Red Riding Hood, forgot about the grandmother. Now, it was the grandmother who counterattacked—no, pounced—and pinned the old wolf to the ground, stomping on him until he howled in pain.
The little wolf was injured, whimpering pitifully as he nuzzled Cheng Zan’s leg.
Little Red Riding Hood looked at the little wolf, then reached out to pat his head. The little wolf seemed even happier, even licking his palm.
Cheng Zan felt his palm tickle, and then he picked up the little wolf. The little wolf gazed at him, and he gazed back.
Cheng Zan thought that maybe he didn’t need familial love after all. So, he simply walked away, holding the little wolf in his arms.
Only the old wolf, still lying on the ground, saw what happened next: The little wolf, nestled against Cheng Zan’s shoulder, had been pitiful just a second ago. But now, in a corner where no one could see, his tiny paw raised a big, triumphant V.
The End.